Lucinda & Alice & B's Friend

I don't like thinking about sequences of events. Whenever I do, they start to seep into my brain and cause me anxiety. Last night, I had tickets to see Lucinda Williams at the Wiltern. B called ahead of time and found out she wasn't taking the stage until 10PM, so we delayed leaving. B took a nap and I looked through my DVDs for something that would act like training wheels for my thoughts. I picked the Disney version of "Alice in Wonderland." It's always been my favorite Disney movie and even though it's loopy and trippy, it's somehow comforting.
So, I watched it until it was time to go. Once at the Wiltern, we ran into some friend's of B's. They were really nice and we talked a while. But at one point in the conversation, my wheels started spinning off. Seems one of B's friends out of nowhere mentioned wanting to open a tea shop like a chain in New York called Alice's Tea Cup which are themed around "Alice in Wonderland."
Of all the days for me to pick that movie to watch. I haven't seen it in years probably. And for us to arrive when we did: at the exact same time B's friends were arriving. And for the conversation to turn to tea and "Alice in Wonderland." I don't believe there are coincidences, things happen for a reason, but I hate not knowing exactly what the reason is. I try to add and subtract, divide, extrapolate, factor, square, find the reciprocal, graph the answer. Like when events like that happen it's sign that there's buried treasure if you can only follow the map correctly. As of right now, I'm still searching.
In other news, Lucinda Williams was amazing. She did a good mix of old songs and new, although there were a few favorites I wish she would have done. Some of the songs transported me back to New York when I remember listening to "Car Wheels on a Gravel Road" over and over and over again. At one point she brought on Susanna Hoffs and Matthew Sweet for some harmony vocals and it was really exciting for me. I had never seen her before and now I realize I've been missing out. But at least now I can cross her off my list. I don't think B enjoyed himself that much. Still, he's been open to a lot of other types of music, so I can't fault him for not falling in love with Lucinda. Goodness knows, I can be super closed minded when it comes to music I'm not familiar with.

Chris, Chris & Chris

I feel it coming on again. My head is spinning. I don't know if it's an obsession over my hair or something else that's causing an obsession over my hair, but I felt like I was losing it for a little while today. Today, I was listening to my iPod and a song came on that reminded me of something A and me were talking about this morning. I don't know what exactly it was, but once I hit that Rilo Kiley song, I couldn't stop listening to it. I put it on repeat and kept listening all through working out, all the way home, in the bathtub. I wanted to figure the song out. It has flashbacks, shifting points of view, and seems to be out of sequence.
While listening, I kept thinking about how much I hated my hair. I knew I needed a haircut, but didn't know what I should do with it. I was veering towards one of the answers I like in such occasions: shaving it all off. I've done it before and I was close to doing it again. I went to the barber shop without knowing what I was going to do. Short or long or the same or what. I didn't know.
I sat down and waited for my turn. What came on the speakers? A Rilo Kiley song. It was weird. I wanted to know what it all meant, but I couldn't figure it out. Then the lady at the front called me up. She told me that the guy in front of me was also Chris, so she would refer to me as Christopher. When I was called up, the guy cutting my hair introduced himself, his name was Chris. I don't know what that meant either, but I made a decision.
I do feel a little bit better. At least I did something. My hair is fine. It's not the complete answer I wanted, but it never is. Still, there's something bubbling under the surface. Maybe it's why people were asking me if I was all right before. Even B commented that one night I was looking a little out of sorts. Even today it felt like something was going to happen.