Saturday, January 3, 2009

Not Hoping For A Rerun

At 8am this morning I woke up to the buzzing of my blackberry and answered another one of "those" phone calls. It wasn't the first time over the last year that I have received one of "those" calls. Somehow, I thought this year was going to be different. I thought the worst was behind us and that the universe owed us a break. But I was mistaken. Just three days into the new year and already, the cloud of impending doom hangs over my head and follows me as I shuffle throughout my day. Despite "the news" I managed to pull myself together and make it to the loft on 8th and Broadway. For five hours I drank strong coffee and ate snacks that come individually wrapped in Christmas boxes from relatives and clients. I turned off my blackberry and turned off my life and stayed present as we shared our fears as well as our hopes and dreams for the upcoming year. Tomorrow I'll find out if this year is starting off differently or if I am faced with a carbon copy of what I was feeling this time last year. I just need to remember, that although I may not have control over situations, I do have control over my reactions. So whatever happens, at least one thing can be different this time around.

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