Forty-Love, Truth

I have to admit, I really wasn't looking forward to playing in any tennis tournaments. I wasn't looking forward to playing any tennis at all. But the more I think about it and the more nervous I get, the more excited I get as well. I guess maybe it's the thrill of playing someone who's game I have no idea about, the opportunity to play a person who might be a lot better, another chance to see if I can put my nerves to bed for a couple hours and fight through. Plus, it's always fun to have to play best of 3 sets rather than just 1, it gives me a chance to try more than one thing. And playing doubles with B when there's something on the line is always a fun time.
The truth is, I really do want to play, I was just too scared to take the steps to do so. I was so clouded with moping and self pity, that I let it get in the way of a chance to try something fun and new. Of course, I would never tell B that. That would mean admitting that sometimes B knows what I want more than I do. And I could never do that.

B & the House

I feel like the one thing that I want to do in life for sure is to own property. Any property. Somewhere. I mean, I have my ideal dream with specifics, but who knows when that's going to happen. At this point, I'd settle for a dirt lot somewhere, but it still seems pretty far off.
Still, I think it's easy to lose perspective. I was house-sitting this week at an amazing house. Beautiful design, amazing view, just gorgeous. But there were a couple nights when B was busy and couldn't come by. And I realized that I don't think any house would be worthwhile if B wasn't in it. And I think that as long as B were there, I could be happy anywhere, even if we were in my tiny studio apartment crammed full of junk. I think I tend to forget that it's not where you are, it's who your with and how you feel about it. I'm sure some people think I'm still in the honeymoon phase, but I think the honeymoon phase is just remembering not to take someone for granted. It's easy to get used to always having someone there and to start to forget what an amazing thing that is. I know I'm lucky with B and I don't ever want to get used to it.

Playing with Fire

After about 10 match points saved, B and me went down in the finals of the doubles tournament. For some reason, we were seeded 2nd and only had to play one match to get into the finals. That one match was crazy, though. We lost the first set quickly 6-2, the second set started to slip away just as quickly and we found ourselves down 5-2, 0-40. 3 match points. I don't know what happened, but we ended up winning that game, and the next. In the next game we were down 2 more match points, and saved them again. From then on, the other team just seemed to lose their confidence and we got more steady as we all baked in the sun. We ended up winning 2-6, 7-5, 6-2. It's crazy when you realize you can be so far out of a match, you're practically at home in the shower, and you win it.
I thought the final might go the same way, we were down quick in the first set and made a surge but it wasn't enough and we lost it 6-4. The second set started out the same as the last match and I ended up being down at least five match points on my serve. Luckily, my serve had picked up and we kept in it, but it wasn't enough. We played with fire too much and finally got burnt, losing the final 6-4, 6-2.
Still, it's always fun on the court with B. He's so unlike me, not really caring if he wins or loses. He tries and has fun, but he realizes it's not life or death. It's a good balance to my over-dramatic attitude. After the match, someone commented that he thought it was too much that we played together. I wouldn't want to play with anyone else.