Is This All There Is?

I used to believe in God. I was sent to Catholic school for eight years and I bought into the whole "devil with the horns and tail" bit. My mother even told me that my dad was going to hell because he didn't believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. There were days...months...years when I didn't question the existence of a higher power, but now...I'm not so sure. I mean, it seems rather idealistic to believe that there is this world, in the clouds, that exists where you have no worries, no fears, and you spend your days skipping through a field of tulips and dragonflies with your childhood dog, Mike. What if this is all there is? What if we make up the idea of an afterlife to kid ourselves into believing that death isn't as bad as it seems...that those we love and adore really aren't gone. What if the pain would be too much to bear if we accepted the truth, so we pretend and we cling to any strand of hope that they are still with us...watching us...helping us. What if God is our year round Santa Claus?