Winds

The pit in my stomach grows as things change again and again. What kind of life is this I'm leading? I don't know what I'm doing about some things lately. I'm just gliding along on changing wind currents.
Now I'm reminded of an acting class where I had to do a monologue from "Orpheus Descending." The character talks about how he wants to be a legless bird that just floats along on the wind. Maybe that monologue embedded itself a little too much into my mind without me knowing. I remember the class ran by people raising their hands to do their monologues. I almost NEVER raised mine. I would just sit there and watch and occasionally be forced to perform. There were some really good people in that class. I don't think people learned much. The people who were good were good from the beginning. The people who were bad pretty much stayed bad. Some of the people in the middle maybe learned a thing or two but mostly people were pretty much what they were.
I think I got an A-. The teacher commented on my lack of participation. It was a decent grade for doing sub-par work which involves me just sitting back and gliding along. I don't want to think too much about that.