"It's Britney (Again), Bitch!"

It happened again. Minutes before the red microwave numbers flashed 1:00 (AM), she was rolled out of her house...plump full of Adderall and Laxatives (or should I say... once plump full of Adderall and Laxatives). I understand the fascination. We are obsessed, as a society, with watching the decline or the spiral of those who once seemed to have it all. It makes us feel better to know that fame pays a heavy price and you can't sit on top of the world forever, without falling at some point. It makes us feel better to know that those who seem so innocent...really aren't. As much as we want those around us to succeed, if suddenly their success comes to a screaching halt and they are swallowed by a big wave of defeat...we act shocked...surprised...upset...saddened...but, the little voice that lives inside our heads whispers, "I knew it couldn't last forever"..."She wasn't all that good anyway"..."At least I'm not the only loser"...
But, in this case, the truth is...the victim is just a kid. A scared, lonely, confused, self-harming kid who unfortunatley has kids of her own. So I tell myself, do something different this time. Instead of slowing down in the fast lane to sneek a glimpse of the train wreck's casulties...speed up...keep your eyes on the road...say a prayer for those involved. But instead, I rush to TMZ and scan every article, every blog...I open attachments entitled Britney's boobs and enlarge all six pictures...I rewind my TIVO and watch twice when CNN shows the helicopter footage of her being rushed from her Mulholland Drive home...I am worse then some, but not as bad as others. I justify my obsession because I live in LA and shrug it off because of what I do for a living...but the truth is...not too long ago...that was me (minus the fame and the see through wardrobe). I was the girl being wheeled from her house, I was the self-harming girl feeling scared, lonely, and confused...we all were at one time or another. Maybe that is why we are so obsessed...at least that's what I'll keep telling myself.