Today

Ugh. It was fine until I actually got to the street that I work on. Then I saw the car and the building and just thought of everything bad. Work wasn't that bad today. It was just work. I guess any job would be the same. I'm sure it's much nicer to have free time and do whatever it is you want, but that's not an option for me. So I work. I try to perform. Try to do right. Try to pay the bills without thinking about weeks, months, years from now.
I had a long conversation with JL today and it kind of freaked me out. We were talking about emotions and politics and the economy and music and afterwards my brain was kind of friend. It's easier not to think about difficult questions sometimes. It's easier to just have faith and not really question yourself. Right now I'm still tired and I think I might need a few days of easy before things get difficult again.