Can't Cry Anymore

I saw Sheryl Crow at the Greek Theater last night. As I was walking to the concert from Los Feliz Boulevard, I was reminded of my first trip out to Los Angeles eight years ago. I came out to visit my former roommate from Brooklyn for a week to check out the city I was planning on moving to. I remember driving from the rental car place to the Los Feliz without really knowing what I was doing. I remember it smelled like skunk. I remember the gas station I had to call from because I didn't have a cell phone.
I didn't do much on my first trip. I saw Hollywood, I went to the Griffith Park Observatory, I drove around. I took an impromptu trip to Las Vegas with some friends of my former roommate. I don't think the trip really made that much of a difference concerning my decision to move. I had already pretty much made up my mind.
Eight years have passed and sometimes it feels like I just got here, like I've been in some sort of suspended animation year after year waiting for my life to start. Some things have gone well, some not so well. I think I used to make decisions by impulse and things would happen. Now I'm so much in my head about things, I tend to get bogged down with reasons not to do things.
The concert was pretty good. Sheryl seemed in good spirits, although sometimes it feels like she's forced to do her hits and doesn't have time for some of her more interesting songs. It's another rush of memories listening to songs I've known since high school. And "Leaving Las Vegas" still has one of my favorite lines of all times: "Such a muddy line between the things you want, and the things you have to do."