I am so over Vegans. They are ruining my friendships and my work relationships one piece of cashew cheese at a time. I can't even bring donuts for my co-workers in the morning without the knife of guilt stabbing me in the heart. Do I need to bring a carrot stick or a slab of margarine for the resident Vegan in the office? No more late night Pizza calls. If so, do we have to order half the pie without cheese? What about the rest of us? Is it fair that you get a whole half of the pizza because of your fear of the dairy cow?
The days of sharing an appetizer portion of macaroni-n-cheese at Magnolia have ended. Does every restaurant have to offer Tofurkey Sandwiches and Soy Pudding for you to join me for a meal? Am I forced to eat at bland, B rated restaurants in a city that has some of the most amazing dinners this foodie has ever tasted?
Vegans, I am begging you, bring back the dairy. Stop ruining our lives with your narcissistic obsessions. After all, without dairy there would be no Blizzards from DQ, no milk left for Santa, no more celebrities with white mustaches.
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1 comment:
Amen, sister! Bring me the cheese! Bring me the ice cream! Bring me the yogurt. Yummy!
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