I feel like the one thing that I want to do in life for sure is to own property. Any property. Somewhere. I mean, I have my ideal dream with specifics, but who knows when that's going to happen. At this point, I'd settle for a dirt lot somewhere, but it still seems pretty far off.
Still, I think it's easy to lose perspective. I was house-sitting this week at an amazing house. Beautiful design, amazing view, just gorgeous. But there were a couple nights when B was busy and couldn't come by. And I realized that I don't think any house would be worthwhile if B wasn't in it. And I think that as long as B were there, I could be happy anywhere, even if we were in my tiny studio apartment crammed full of junk. I think I tend to forget that it's not where you are, it's who your with and how you feel about it. I'm sure some people think I'm still in the honeymoon phase, but I think the honeymoon phase is just remembering not to take someone for granted. It's easy to get used to always having someone there and to start to forget what an amazing thing that is. I know I'm lucky with B and I don't ever want to get used to it.
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(I'm just catching up now from my week of play in LA so forgive the late comment)
Just wanted to agree with you, as I usually do. I don't think you're describing still being in a honeymoon phase, I think you're describing a good relationship. (and yay!)
Only loosely on topic, your post got me thinking about my own real estate situation and how it relates to my marriage. I've noticed that when J and I collectively get wistful about moving into a better house/location/whatever, it's usually at times when something else is wrong that needs fixing. About a year after we moved here we got all starry eyed over a beautiful neighborhood, and spent a lot of time picturing having friends over to a house there. And slowly realized that what we really needed were friends in our new city, and it wasn't our house's fault that we hadn't made any. A few months ago we went through a similar process coveting a big shiny new house in the middle of nowhere, which coincided directly with a few points of tension in our lives (namely me leaving my job and all the anxieties for both of us that resulted).
It wouldn't be a comment from me without unsolicited advice, so here goes: I wouldn't advise stressing too much about renting vs. owning. Sure, owning has some financial advantages, but in my experience, there's as much stress/bad to it as there is good. I'm just saying this because from high school on my dad drilled me with the idea that home ownership was not only a wise investment but a requisite for responsible adulthood. Bullshit. Home ownership also means a rather extreme commitment to a thing, and frankly, I'm much more interested in committing to people I love and my career and enjoying the world around me. And for many Americans it's more of a financial headache than it is a financial advantage (ourselves included, and we didn't buy outside our means by any stretch of the imagination).
Okay I'm done for now!
xoxo
K
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