K & A & A Gun

In retrospect, it probably wasn't the best idea given the week we've had--full of tension and uncertainty and mixed emotions. Both A and I had agreed months ago to go to the shooting range with MH, who has an interest in such things. I've been cautiously interested, but it wasn't like I was constantly asking when we were going to the shooting range. An email was sent to me along with a post-it on my desk saying we were going on Thursday.
Thursday came around and MH took myself, A and BFH. I was nervous and walking in made me more nervous. Hearing the gun shots was horrible. They were freaking loud even with the earplugs and earmuffs. MH arranged everything as A was beginning her freak out. She decided not to partake and I considered joining her outside in the hot Van Nuys sun, but I felt I could push through.
I did push through. MH went through a detailed guide to shooting and it took me a lot of breaths and trying not to freak out to be ready for my turn. I was shaky and nervous and tense. I kept locking my elbows when I was told to relax and be loose. The first shot was jarring. It felt like it took a lot of effort just to have a semblance of control. It was loud and the kick back was stronger than I expected although I was prepared for it. The second round of bullets was a little more comfortable, but I never felt at ease and didn't like being so close to other people shooting.
I'm glad I did it, but I don't think I'll be going back anytime soon. It didn't feel like that much of a release and was more frightening that relaxing. It felt dangerous, but I'm glad I've felt the reality of what it's like to fire a gun a couple times. But I think I'll stick to doing it in video games.